


Don't pull away

by Claire_Novak



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Destiel - Freeform, First Kiss, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Mary didn't die, best friends!!, but mary isn't dead, ish, it's not really there, kiss list, like the inbetween
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-29
Updated: 2016-01-29
Packaged: 2018-05-16 23:52:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5845798
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Claire_Novak/pseuds/Claire_Novak
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel can pinpoint the moment he knew Dean Winchester would be his best friend, but he can't pinpoint when he fell for the same boy. Now as they face their last summer before college, Cas is determined to find out why Dean has been acting so distant. All he wanted was one last summer with his best friend, was that too much to ask?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't pull away

**Author's Note:**

> This is another one of my kiss list ones. I really don't know what I was writing so I'm not sure it makes total sense, but man I kinda love this kiss. Also, after last nights episode, I'm just really feeling some destiel. Honestly. As always, please let me know what you think! I love to hear from you guys! I'm new at this and still trying to learn!

Castiel could pinpoint the moment he knew he would be best friends with Dean. 

He was in second grade, and it was the time in the day when the kids would sit and read until their eyes were heavy and the teacher would no doubt have to wake a few kids up. But there was something different today, a new voice took over his thoughts threatening Amelia Bedilia’s reign on his mind. He looked up to see a boy with a mess of blonde hair that looked like he hardly brushed it,, though he could see that the boy had tried, and green eyes that pierced through the room. 

Castiel knew the new boy would be sitting by him as it was the only seat available in Mrs. Pozzi’s classroom. So He let himself watch as the boy put his backpack in the cubby and grabbed his book out before making his way timidly through the room to the seat next to him. Castiel didn’t say anything at first only sat and waited, but when it became clear that the new boy wouldn’t say anything first, he decided to start the introductions.

“Hello, I’m Castiel, but you can call me Cas because everyone says Castiel is a hard name, but I don’t care.”

Dean had smiled back brighter than Cas had ever seen before answering easily

“I think it’s a pretty name! My name is Dean. It’s not as cool as yours, and I don’t like it.”

“Well I do.”

And they had spent the rest of the day reading and laughing and getting in trouble, but they hadn’t cared. Cas knew that he would have a friend from that day on and he was certainly not disappointed. 

Years past, in fact 10 did and suddenly the two were in their last summer before college. Dean had been there as Cas had his heart broken. He had called Dean crying the night his boyfriend broke up with him complaining that he would not have a date to the prom. Dean had painted him a sign that night and gotten the school to help him ask. There was a song and a dance, and Cas had no idea how he did it, but Dean seemed to know everyone so it didn’t exactly surprise him to be honest. He had of course said yes. 

Casl had been there when Dean had gotten in to his dream school only to find out that without a substantial scholarship, he would not be able to go. He had helped his friend proofread and edit all of the essays and had cheered when Dean found out that he had received enough money to not only go to the school for free, but also to receive a stipend at the end of each semester. 

They had gone on adventures across state lines, made covers of their favorite songs, danced, laughed and most of all lived with each other. 

What Casl wasn’t sure of was the moment he fell for Dean. He remembered feeling it very gradually. There was one night he knew though. Cas had been feeling something in his chest for a while. He had been aware of the thoughts in his head and had more than once had to stop himself from just kissing Dean because he knew better. Dean was his best friend and he would have to get over it. 

But there they were sitting on the hood of Dean’s impala talking about their last few weeks of high school and how great it was that Cas would be in the same city as Dean, and there was that feeling Cas was trying to ignore. So he changed the subject, quickly pointing out the stars and as he looked over to tell the green-eyed boy about what very little he knew about stars, Cas knew it. He loved Dean.

But that was months ago and Cas told himself he was over it, but he was never good at lying He decided it was better to just enjoy the time that was left with Dean. 

They both knew that once college started their time together would be few and far between and both were adamant that this summer had to be full of memories even if they were just spending time together it would be worth it. 

Cas noticed it first when they started their Harry Potter marathon in early June, Dean was acting odd and wasn’t being as present as he usually was. Cas decided his best friend was just tired. 

“Hey you! Wake up!” he had screamed throwing a pillow at Dean’s head, and while it didn’t exactly work, he seemed to wake up a bit which was good because they had 17 hours left of movie to watch. It was going to be a long time and he needed to be awake. 

From that point on Dean just seemed further and further away and Cas just wanted his best friend back. He was sure Dean knew, Dean must know Cas loved him and that’s why he was acting weird. Cas needed him back before the summer was over. 

So he decided that before they did their Star Wars marathon in late July, he had to talk to Dean. He just needed the perfect opportunity. 

And get it he did. It was a quiet night for both of them, which it seemed to be lately. Dean’s parents had just come down to tell them they were going to dinner and to make sure Cas was home by his curfew. So they sat in the basement of an empty house listening to Kansas on vinyl and secretly wishing it was Disney. 

Cas decided there was no time like the present, but apparently so did Dean. 

“I think that we-”

“Maybe we need to-” 

They both started only to laugh and stop quickly. 

“Go on,” Dean said

“I don’t know what I did Dean, but I’m sorry. You’ve been so distant lately, and I mean maybe I have too and I’m sorry for whatever I did. I just want you back we only have one more summer before life kicks in and I don’t know what the future hold and I’m terrified but I know that I don’t want to lose this friendship, I can’t.”

Dean could see it, Casl looked like he was about to cry that look in his face was the same one he had seen many times as he held his best friend through tears, and like hell he was going to be the cause of those tears. He wasn’t even sure was to do anymore, but he knew what he wanted and right now Dean didn’t think he could make matters worse. 

So he kissed Cas. 

He immediately regretted it. Cas was frozen and wasn’t kissing back and Dean messed up and what was he doing he had to stop, but before he could there was a fist in his shirt and lips pressed against his. It wasn’t a passionate kiss per say, it was sloppy and emotion filled, but the emotion was more anger than anything else. And Dean was more mad he hadn’t kissed Cas sooner. 

Cas must have been thinking the same thing because the next thing Dean knew the same fist was unraveling and shoving him away. 

“How long?” was all Cas said in response and for the first time in his life, Dean didn’t know how to read that face anymore. He had been able to read her so well, but he couldn’t anymore. He couldn’t tell if Cas was angry or upset or happy and decided to not try and figure it out. 

“A couple years at least. I didn’t know it at first, I just knew I couldn’t lose you. I pulled away because I didn’t want to try to keep you in my life as a friend knowing I wanted more. You’re my best friend and I couldn’t imagine life without you. I couldn’t see a future without you, but I didn’t want to hurt you, and I didn’t want to get hurt, so it had to stop. So I pulled away.”

And there was that fist in his shirt again, but there was something different in Castiel’s eyes this time, something softer. 

“How about you don’t pull away again okay?”

Dean just smiled as he let himself be kissed. They would have to actually talk about it, they both knew that, but they knew they could do it later, right now they were too busy trying to memorize the feeling of lips on cheeks and necks and hands and most importantly, each other's lips. The rest could come later. They had each other now.


End file.
